Guts

Tonight, I finally found the guts to shave my head ... and it feels SO much better!  After my final treatment almost four weeks ago, my hair just hasn't been the same.  Since the very beginning of this journey, I knew the day would come, but I didn't know that I would make it through ALL of chemotherapy before I would really need to make a decision. Luckily, I have been able to disguise my thinning hair with a hat or wig.  Over the past few weeks though, I have become more and more frustrated ... my hair looked so unhealthy and I was sporting the most ridiculous combover around.  YUCK!  So, I finally gathered my team of stylists AND ...

 My first stylist ... Scott

My second stylist ... Maddie

I feel AMAZING ... I should have done it SO much sooner!  Scott and Maddie were GREAT ... they helped me decide on a length and I am very pleased with the results.  We decided on a #4 guard ... so my hair is a WHOPPING 4 millimeters long!  No drying, no styling ...  no complaints!  Thank you to my loving family for making this experience so much better than I could have ever expected ...

Here's to GUTS ... and the beginning of a healthy head of hair ...

Countdown

Well, the countdown to surgery is here ... just one week until I undergo a bilateral mastectomy and begin the process of reconstruction.  Although I haven't been all that concerned about the surgical aspect of this journey, my nerves are beginning to get the best of me.  Of course, I am looking forward to the final pathology report and am so very hopeful that I will receive the results I have fought to achieve.  The reality is, though ... after next Friday, I will be physically and emotionally changed forever ...

This should be amazingly EXCITING ... and in many ways it is ... new BOOBS and CANCER-FREE!  However, it is overwhelming to think about the importance of the success of the surgery and the shift in my journey ... from fighter to survivor.

So, this week, I will continue to pray for my amazing doctors, for excellent results, and for healing.  Please pray with me ...

Celebrating

Today is Scott's birthday ... he is 35 years old ...

Obviously, his birthday is something very special to celebrate.  But, we are also celebrating the WONDERFUL news we received this week.  As we share this evening together, we both feel thankful and so very blessed ...

For me, this night is also a beautiful reminder of how lucky I am.  God has given me such an amazing husband in Scott ... a man that has provided more love and support than I ever could.  Someone who, through this overwhelming journey, has shown so much strength ... has picked my up EVERY time I couldn't get up on my own ... and has loved me more than I deserve.

So, tonight, not only are WE celebrating his birthday and the great news WE received ... but I am celebrating HIM and the very special love we share!

Here's to Scott ...

Complete Clinical Response

Yesterday, at our appointment with Dr. O'Regan, we were given the OFFICIAL results from my PET/CT scan ...

THE most important aspect of this report ...

"PET-CT from the skull base to mid thigh demonstrates COMPLETE RESOLUTION of uptake and soft tissue at previously noted left lower quadrant breast lesion.  No findings suspicious for loco regional spread or distant disease."  

In Dr. O'Regan's terms ... "You have achieved a COMPLETE CLINICAL RESPONSE and there is no indication of any cancer elsewhere in your body."  She is obviously very pleased with my progress and feels strongly that these positive results will continue.  Such a relief ...

For me ... I am thankful ... giving the deepest of thanks to God.  He has continually blessed me throughout this journey and, for that, I will be forever grateful ... 

ALL CLEAR!!!

I am almost speechless ... and am shedding tears of HAPPINESS for the first time in many, many months!  This morning, I had my final PET scan and, at 8:27 this evening, Dr. O'Regan sent me an email ... THE SCAN LOOKS GREAT ... IT'S ALL CLEAR ... NO SIGN OF CANCER!!!!!!!!

Scott and I will be heading to Emory in the morning for my regularly scheduled appointment ... hopefully we will get the official report and have the opportunity to ask questions ...

Until then, I am going to give thanks to God, RELAX, and celebrate LIFE ...

Results

In just two days, I will undergo my final PET scan and will have the answers I have been waiting SO long for ...

Although I am looking forward to putting this part of the journey behind me, I cannot help but feel completely terrified.  What if the cancer has spread?  What if they find something new?  What if the chemotherapy didn't work as well as we had hoped?

Of course, I am hoping for the very best ... but I'm nervous ... extremely nervous.  So, please PRAY ... pray for continued healing, for WONDERFUL results, and for PEACE in completing this phase of the journey.  As I have said so many times before ... God is listening and He is GREAT!

Girls' Night Out

On Sunday afternoon, I met my cousins, Jenny and Mary, and my friends, Alisha and Aubrey, for Girls' Night Out ...  and what a GREAT night it was!

We started the evening with a movie ... The Vow ... great "chick flick" and perfect for Valentine's Day.  Then, we headed to P.F. Chang's for dinner.  We had LOTS of great food, a few delicious drinks, and WONDERFUL conversation ... it was a perfect way to celebrate the end of chemotherapy ...

Throughout this journey, I have been most thankful for the love and support of my family and friends.  Although it is sometimes difficult to find the happiness I once had, sharing moments like these with the special people in my life always brings me back ...

Here's to a GREAT night ...

To Shave or Not to Shave?

Now that I am finished with treatment, I wanted to make a decision ... shave what is left of my hair or leave it and let it fill in and thicken up ...

As you all know from reading my previous posts, dealing with my hair ... or lack thereof ... has been one of the most difficult parts of this journey.  From the very beginning, I have been rather indecisive.  I knew that losing my hair was more than likely going to happen at some point, but I just couldn't bring myself to get rid of it before I absolutely had to ...

Well, here we are ... six months since my diagnosis and a little over four months since my first infusion ... and, I am NOT bald.  Of course, my hair is REALLY thin and there isn't all that much left, but it never came out in clumps and there is enough remaining to fool the average stranger ... at least if I wear a hat.  At this point, though, the question remains ...

To shave or not to shave?

The decision ... NOT to shave!  After talking with Brittany, my stylist, this afternoon ... I have decided to keep what is left of my hair!  I still have a few long side pieces and almost all of the hair I originally had on the very back of my head.  It works well in a hat and I can always wear one of my adorable wigs ... at least I have choices ...

Hopefully, by early June, I will have enough hair to transition into an adorable pixie cut. At that point, I will be close to my final surgery and VERY ready to put this experience behind me and move on with my life!  Perfect timing ...

So, let the countdown begin ... COME ON JUNE ...

Special Date

Every year, around Valentine's Day, Maddie and Scott have a special date ... the annual Father/Daughter Dance or, as Maddie calls it, the "Maddie/Daddy" Dance.  As always, Maddie and I shop for the perfect dress while Scott orders a beautiful corsage for his little girl.  Usually, Maddie prefers to wear her hair down, but this year she requested an appointment with Brittany, our stylist, for an updo.  So, this afternoon, in preparation for the BIG night, we headed to Salon and Spa Vanessa in Downtown Woodstock ...

 Getting started ...

PERFECT!

Once we returned home from the salon, Maddie was eager to put on her dress and head out for the night.  She and her daddy made a PERFECT pair ...

Scott and Maddie both look forward to this event every year ... and I couldn't be more thankful for their relationship.  Scott is such an amazing father and I hope Maddie someday realizes how lucky she is ...

Here's to being blessed with such an amazing husband and beautiful little girl ...

Laughter

As many of you probably already know, one of the best things you can do when fighting cancer is LAUGH ...

Well, I have had a very difficult time finding humor in life these days.  Obviously, I LOVE to laugh, but when every other thought is consumed by fear ... it can be difficult.  Last night, though, Scott made me laugh ... really laugh ...

The kids were in bed and we were watching television, enjoying a little relaxation and a glass of wine.  For whatever reason, I realized that my surgery is just three weeks away. So, I looked at Scott and said, "You know, three weeks from tomorrow, I won't have breasts anymore ... at least not real breasts."  He quickly turned to me and said, "When did you have breasts?"

It was REALLY funny ... probably because it is SO true!  Thank you, Scott, for the GREAT laugh!  I needed it ...

Humbled

Tonight, in the spirit of my LAST treatment, I decided to step up my Corona tradition.  So, rather than drinking alone, Scott and I invited our Redbud Terrace family to join us in a toast ... and a celebration of this amazing milestone ...

Well, I cannot begin to express how humbled I was to be surrounded by 27 of my neighbors ... offering congratulations, words of encouragement, and LOTS of hugs. Through this journey, these amazing friends have been by my side EVERY step of the way ... providing delicious meals after each of my treatments, offering their unwavering friendship, and continually praying for my healing.  Words just cannot express how thankful I am for Redbud Terrace and the amazing people here that have touched my life in so many ways ... I am one lucky girl!

To top of this day, my RBT family gave me a sweet, sweet gift ...

Absolutely a reason to celebrate ... 

 My Princess Warrior logo ...

Signed by my RBT family ...

Needless to say, this day was more than I could have hoped for ... so, thank you RBT, from the bottom of my heart ...

It's EMPTY!

Here's to celebrating the END of chemotherapy with the best neighbors a girl could ask for ...

Eight Down ... NONE to Go

This day, February 2, 2012, marks my final day of treatment ... NO MORE chemotherapy ... NO MORE chemotherapy ... NO MORE chemotherapy ... ROCK ON ... NO MORE chemotherapy!!!!!!!!!

This amazingly difficult journey began almost 6 months ago when I received the most devastating news I could have ever imagined ... it's cancer ... breast cancer .... at 34 years old! At that point, the road looked SO long ... almost unbearable ... and absolutely terrifying. Looking back, though, I feel so very blessed ... and proud of what I have managed to accomplish ... I'VE MADE IT SO FAR!

Today, we went through the usual appointments ... blood work, a visit with Dr. O'Regan, and treatment.  Thankfully, the day went very smoothly!  As we left Emory this afternoon, I was greeted by a perfect day ... not a typical winter day ... a warm, sunny day filled with beautiful blue skies.  It was almost as if it was a gift from God ... showing me what lies ahead ... and I am so very grateful for it!

Round 8 ... DONE ...

 My FINAL day in the infusion lab ... it feels SO good!

 INFUSION COMPLETE ... FOREVER!

This morning, I wasn't sure how I would feel at the end of the day.  In recent weeks, I have been gripped by fear and although I continue to work through it, today I feel relieved ... filled with hope and excitement for what the future holds ...

Here's to the END of chemotherapy and one HUGE step closer to the finish line ... and CANCER-FREE ...