Costumes

It's Halloween ...

As a child, this was always one of my favorite holidays ... the opportunity to become someone or something else was always very exciting ... and now, as a mother, I truly enjoy watching my kids as they dress in their costumes and hit the streets ...

This year, though, I wish I could be someone else, too ... just for one night ... no cancer, just the freedom of a care-free, disease-free life ...

Of course, it's not that simple ... for me, getting to that point again is a journey ... and a very difficult one ... but, I must remind myself that I am stronger than my disease and that, in time, I will find happiness ... peace ... and true JOY in being ME and living a very blessed life ...

Kiddos

For the first time since my diagnosis, I am on my own ... Scott is away for a few days on business ...

Although he probably wasn't looking very forward to it ... I am so happy that he has the opportunity to take some time for himself, even if it is work related.  He has been working overtime around here for weeks ... in addition to his "bill paying" job ...

For me, though, it's a little lonely without him ... so, today, I filled my time with my precious kiddos ...

This morning, after a full-night's sleep in "Mommy's bed" ... Maddie headed off to school, as usual.  Before preschool, Andrew and I stopped at Chick-fil-a for a special breakfast!  He was ALL smiles ... and he actually ate EVERY bite ...

While the kids were away, I was able to mark some things off of my list ... thank goodness!

After school, Andrew and I picked Maddie up from the bus stop and made a beeline for Target ... a little retail therapy ALWAYS brings a smile to my face ... and the kids, too, of course!  Then, a few "necessary" errands, dinner and dessert at Frosty Frog ... and, finally, a viewing of Ghostbusters!  Honestly, I can't think of a more perfect day ...

Most importantly, I enjoyed every minute ... this time with my kiddos can never be replaced and I am so thankful to have found such joy in it ...

Here's to a GREAT weekend ...

Princess Warrior

Although I have never considered myself a princess ... and I have never really had the need to be a warrior ... I now find this name to be so VERY fitting as I continue my FIGHT against breast cancer ...

As I have said before, though, this is not just MY journey ... it is not just MY fight ... and without the love, support, and prayers from my family and friends ... I would be absolutely LOST!  Along the way, I have had so many people ask, "How can I help?" ... "What can I do?" ... and, although I haven't really known exactly how to answer, so many of you have found the most thoughtful ways to bring a smile to my face and to make each day a little brighter ... and, for that, I will be forever grateful!

Now, though ... I do NEED your help ... and I know exactly how ...

In October of 2012, I will be walking ... as a SURVIVOR ... in the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure, along with my team.  Each member of my team is responsible for raising $2,300 ... in addition to completing a 3-day, 60-mile walk ... ALL for the CURE ...

So, if you would like to make a donation to Team Princess Warrior, please click on the "Donate" link in the upper right-hand corner of the blog screen.  Or, if you would prefer, you can simply mail the donation to our home address.  In return, you will receive a window decal to show your PRINCESS WARRIOR support ...

Don't forget ... we need to know who you are ... so, once you have made your donation, please email your name and address to sjmcneal@mac.com ...

Remember ... every little bit helps ...

As always ... THANK YOU ... from the bottom of my heart ... for EVERYTHING ...

The Power of Pink

Although just a week or so ago, I was completely OVER the pink ... I had the wonderful opportunity to witness the finish of the Susan G. Komen 3-Day For the Cure in Atlanta ... and my LOVE for PINK has returned ...

As I stood watching thousands of men and women complete the 3-day, 60-mile walk ... I realized what an amazing impact PINK has on finding a CURE for breast cancer!  With around 2,300 walkers ... an astonishing 6.5 MILLION DOLLARS was raised ... for research, for programs ... for HOPE that one day breast cancer will be a thing of the past!

These women walked ... and are survivors themselves ...

Next year, at this time, I will walk ... I will stand on that podium ... and I will begin my life as a SURVIVOR!

Here's to PINK ... and LOTS of it ...

Physical Exam

As I was reading through my blog from yesterday, I realized that I left out the very BEST news ...

Before each of my infusions, I see Dr. O'Regan for a physical exam ... AND ... she felt almost nothing!  She smiled and said, "Although these are just my hands, it certainly appears that you are responding extremely well to treatment."  What GREAT news!  Of course, I can still locate the tumor myself, but it is significantly smaller than before ...

And, if after only ONE treatment, we are seeing such great results ... I can rest a little easier knowing that CANCER-FREE IS just around the corner ...

PLEASE keep the prayers coming ... God is doing His amazing work ... and I am so VERY grateful for it ...

Here's to MORE results from ROUND 2 ...

My Everything

Eleven years ago today, Scott and I were married at The Episcopal Church of St. Peter & St. Paul in Marietta.  It was one of the very BEST days of my life ...

Since then, we have shared an amazing journey together ... living away from home in both Florida and Indiana, raising two amazing children, and creating wonderful memories along the way! Of course, these past couple of months have been some of the best yet ... as strange as it sounds ... the relationship that Scott and I have shared since my diagnosis has been INDESCRIBABLE ... without him, I honestly don't know where I would be ...

Thank you, to my truly AMAZING husband ... you are my EVERYTHING ...

Happy 11th Anniversary ...

Here's to MANY, MANY more ...

Two Down ... Six To Go

As I sit here, I am enjoying my "after chemo" Corona ... and feeling quite good ...

Today went VERY smoothly and, for me, it was much less emotional than the first time around.  We did, however, get started much earlier ... which I prefer ... although I am still NOT a morning person ...

I arrived at Emory, with my mom and my aunt, at promptly 7:30 this morning ... had my blood drawn ... saw Dr. O'Regan ... and headed to the lab for my infusion.  For some reason, those nearly six hours in the chair went by very quickly ... perhaps it was all of the GREAT company ... my husband, my mom and dad, my Aunt Tiss, and my dearest friend Alisha and her mom, Pam.  So, needless to say ... it was a VERY easy and enjoyable day ...

Most importantly ... I am one step closer to CANCER-FREE ...

Round 2 ... DONE ...

Thank you all, again, for continuing to lift me and my family up in prayer ... I know with everything that I am ... God is listening ... 

Today was another precious GIFT from GOD ... and I am so thankful for it ...

Cheers ...

Relaxed

Tonight, I am feeling more relaxed than I expected! Early tomorrow morning, I will be heading to Emory for my second infusion ...

Although I never thought I would look forward to anything but the end of this nightmare ... I realize that each part of this journey is necessary ... and important ... and tomorrow brings me one step closer to the finish line ...

Please pray that this treatment goes as smoothly as the first ...

Here's to tomorrow ...

Common Sense

On the Today Show this morning, they aired a segment on breasts with Dr. Peterson, an internist and medical contributor for Women's Health Magazine ...

First, she discussed breast cancer risk factors ...

1.  Age - One in eight women under the age of 40 and two in three women over the age of 55 will be diagnosed with breast cancer.

2.  Family History - Obviously, if you have a family history of breast cancer, you are at a greater risk of being diagnosed in your lifetime.

3.  Menstrual Cycle - Women who had their first menstrual cycle before the age of 12 are at a greater risk of being diagnosed with breast cancer.

4.  Alcohol Use - The more a woman drinks, no matter what type of alcohol, the greater her risk of a breast cancer diagnosis.

5.  Childbirth - Women who give birth later in life, after 30 specifically, are at a greater risk of being diagnosed with breast cancer.

Before I continue with the report, I would like to mention that I fit NOT ONE of these risk factors ... I am under the age of 40 with NO family history ... I started my period after the age of 12 ... I am NOT a heavy drinker, not even a moderate one ... and I gave birth to both of my children before the age of 30 ...

So, based on the risk factors above, if I were to have listened to the following recommendations ... well, you know what the outcome could have been ...

Currently, it is recommended that women have their first mammogram at the age of 40 ... REALLY?

And, as far as breast self-exams are concerned ... from the mouth of Dr. Peterson herself ...

"Breast self-exams are considered optional now because they're not completely proven to be a benefit as a screening tool."

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Please, please DO NOT listen to this advice ...

For those that do not know, I saw my gynecologist in April ... was given a breast exam ... and nothing.  Just three months later, while conducting my own exam, I found a lump ... what if I had waited until NEXT April?

As I have said before ... PLEASE FEEL YOUR BOOBIES ... it could save your life ...

Here's to common sense ...

Fender Bender

Today was an interesting day ...

Once the kids were off to school, MY day began with a much needed pedicure!  Then, a visit to Ember ... a local yoga studio ... LOVED it and am looking forward to trying a class or two ...

Finally, I headed to Roswell to pick up my second wig from Tommie at Unique Wigs. Honestly, the picture says it all ...

I really can't believe how much this looks like MY hair ... and how thankful I am to have found this little shop ... and Tommie ...

The most interesting part of my day, though, began when I left ...

As I backed out of my parking space ... as I always do ... I checked things out in my backup camera ... which is THE best thing EVER ... and saw nothing.  I continued in reverse, came to a stop, put the car in drive ... and BOOM!  Of course, I had NO idea what had hit me, but it shook my car enough to know that whatever it was had done some damage ...

Most importantly, no one was hurt ... I was just hit by a woman paying absolutely no attention as she backed her beautiful BMW out of the parking space just as quickly as she could ... probably on the phone, although I don't know that for sure ...

The woman ... her name is Gigi ... instantly apologized and took full responsibility.  I really wasn't phased by it all that much ... these past few months have significantly changed my perspective on what's REALLY important, as you can imagine.  I told her ... accidents happen ... it's just a bumper and it can be replaced.  So, we exchanged insurance information, called for a police report, and then waited ... 

Once the officer arrived, we stood there together for quite some time as he completed the necessary paperwork.  Of course, having just left the wig shop, I was wearing my amazing new wig!  Well, Gigi noticed my cute hairdo and asked if I had been at the salon prior to our fender bender ... I smiled and said, "Nope, it's a wig!"  The look on her face told me that I needed to explain ... so I shared a little of my story with her ...

Little did we know, Officer Reeves overheard our conversation ... he is a cancer survivor ... and shared these words with me ...

"The journey is not fun ... it's very difficult at times ... but you will get through it and will live a more full and meaningful life than you ever thought possible.  My faith got me through it and I will be praying for you."

We continued talking a little and sharing our stories ... as I stood there with him, I couldn't help but feel like he was intentionally placed there for me ... a survivor ... showing me hope and possibility ...

Thank you, Gigi, for hitting my car ... and Officer Reeves for bringing a smile to my face ...

Dammit Doll

This weekend was packed with FUN ... and I enjoyed every minute!  It all began on Saturday morning with cheerleading ... Maddie absolutely LOVES it ... even though the football team has scored only one touchdown ALL season!  After the game, we headed to the lake for a BEAUTIFUL day on the water.  Obviously, the weather was too cold for swimming, but it was perfect for a long cruise ... it was such a relaxing, peaceful day!

Today, we took our annual trip to Berry Patch Farms as a family.  As usual, we met Matt, Tiffanie, and Taylor for a morning of FUN!  Afterward, we drove to the North Georgia mountains for a hike up Amicalola Falls with my Girl Scout troop.  It was a family affair and everyone had a GREAT time!

The only thing that could have made this weekend any better would be CANCER-FREE status!  I know that time is coming, but until then, I fully intend to use my Dammit Doll for days that aren't as wonderful as the past few have been ...

This doll was given to me on Friday by an amazingly kind woman.  We met, of all places, at the car wash.  After all of the rain, my car was in desperate need of some TLC ... and, to my surprise, Towne Lake Carwash was sponsoring a fundraiser for breast cancer research.  So, while we waited, Andrew and I had the opportunity to see GIGI, the big PINK fire truck, and to meet the owner of The Pink Ribbon Link.  She introduced me to the Dammit Doll and, after I shared the news of my diagnosis, she gave me my very own doll to help see me through these many months of treatment ...

CLICK TO READ

Even though it has been more than two months since the beginning of this journey, I still cannot believe the kindness I am continually shown ... in so many ways ... by so many people ...

Here's to a wonderful weekend ... and no need for my adorable Dammit Doll ...

Buddy

Today, I had the opportunity to spend most of the day with my buddy, Andrew ...

This morning, the weather was beautiful ... Andrew and I headed to Berry Patch Farms for his preschool field trip.  We took a hayride, wandered through the pumpkin patch, and had a nice picnic lunch.  And, of course, Andrew spent some much needed time on the playground ...

My Buddy

My Buddy & Me

As we searched the pumpkin patch for the perfect pumpkin ... Andrew just could NOT find what he was looking for ... until ... 

Andrew's Gourd

Andrew has an unusual personality ... he truly makes me smile ... and the gourd he chose is a symbol of his uniqueness ... LOVE him!  

We had a GREAT time at the pumpkin patch, but Andrew just wasn't ready for our time together to end.  So, he insisted that we take a "stroller ride" before Maddie got home from school ... and we did just that ... 

Please remember, Andrew is almost five years old and really has no business in a stroller! But, he absolutely loves to ride through the neighborhood ... for me, it's a GREAT workout and, more importantly, some special time with my buddy ... 

Here's to a wonderful day ... and a very blessed one, too ... 

Restless

Until next Thursday, life will continue as usual ... just waiting until I can tackle my second round of treatment ...

Luckily, I feel GREAT physically ... no complaints ... emotionally, though, I am getting a little restless ... I am not very good at the waiting game ...

I'm ready ... ready for my next infusion and more than ready to be one step closer to the finish line.  While I do feel "safe" at this stage in the game, I also feel an overwhelming amount of anxiety about the future.  I am eager to know the outcome of chemotherapy ... and surgery ... I just want to hear the words "cancer-free" from my oncologist and my surgeon.  At that point, I pray that I can begin to really live again ...

For now, I am trying to cherish every moment with my family and friends ... and enjoy the little things ... it really is amazing how much more they mean to me now ...

Here's to life ... and it's wonderful blessings ...

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."
-Robert Brault

Pink

Today, I am OVER the PINK ...

As you all know, October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month ... and EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE is PINK ...

Don't get me wrong, I am so very thankful for all of the "awareness" ... it is just a constant reminder that I have cancer ... and it sucks!  Everywhere I go, everything I see has a BIG PINK RIBBON!  Now, that pink ribbon represents MY fight ... and I can't help but wonder if my life will ever be the same ...

Hopefully, as time goes by, it will become a symbol of strength and accomplishment ... rather than a source of sadness and fear ...

Here's to November ... one month closer to CANCER-FREE ... and maybe just a little less PINK ...

"FORE" Jill

This weekend, while I was relaxing and spending time with my family, Laura ... Randy's sister ... was playing golf in my honor at the "Tutus for the Tatas" Golf Tournament in Brazoria, Texas ...

Laura & Sylvia

"FORE" Jill

Thank you, Laura, for the love and support ... even over the many miles ... 

Fortunate

It's funny ... as we approach the two-month mark, I actually feel more fortunate than I ever have ...

At first, it was very difficult to be around people ... even my own precious children.  As I walked around "with cancer" ... everyone else went on with their normal days ... doing normal things ... finding happiness in everyday life.  I didn't ...

Now, though, I do ... and my perspective on life is much more grand than I ever expected! Truthfully, by this point, I thought I would want nothing more than to trade places with someone else ... for cancer to be somebody else's life story ...

Instead, I am choosing to embrace it ... to take this challenge that God has given me and make the most of it!  In life, so many times, people are never given a second chance ... I have been ... and I know that, once I get through this, I will be stronger ... better ... and so ready to live the life God has given me ... to the fullest!

Here's to a beautiful life ... even with cancer ...

Security

Although I am still experiencing some lingering side effects from the chemotherapy ... I feel blessed to have passed the "worst" of it ...

At this point, I feel strangely safe ... I am doing everything I can do ... following doctor's orders, firmly believing in the medicine, and resting securely in my faith that I will SURVIVE ...

So, for now, I would like to thank Dr. O'Regan and Kate for EVERYTHING ... most of all, though, for the HOPE I have in my heart ...

Dr. O'Regan & Me

Kate & Me

"Ain't it kinda funny, at the dark end of the road, that someone lights the way with just a single ray of hope."
-Alabama, "Angels Among Us"

Fog

Today ... I feel like I am in a fog ... not feeling badly, just not myself! Truthfully, I can't complain ... the anti-nausea medication worked and, overall, I feel pretty darn good! Obviously, I was expecting much, much worse ...

So, thank you prayer warriors ... AGAIN ... I feel so blessed to have successfully conquered ROUND 1 ...

Taylor Swift

This past weekend, I was THRILLED to be able to see Taylor Swift in concert with my husband and our precious little girl ... it was Maddie's very FIRST concert!  Of course, considering the fact that I had my first infusion on Thursday, I wasn't sure if I would be up for it ... but, I was ... and am so very thankful!

We started the evening with a quick bite to eat at Chick-fil-a at the CNN Center and then off to the concert.  Without a doubt, Maddie had to have a t-shirt and a glow stick ... and, ice cream, of course!  Then, Taylor finally took center stage ... and what FUN it was ...

 

This was just one of those moments I absolutely did not want to miss ... I just hope it was as special for Maddie as it was for her dad and me ...

Here's to a wonderful evening ... and to MANY, MANY more with our little girl ...