Pray

Well, it's been almost a week since I have had any desire to write.  This past week, for whatever reason, has been emotionally draining for me.  At times, I still feel like I am trying to wrap my head around it all ... and it's not easy ...

For several days, I have been looking for something to ease my mind ... and bring out the smile I know is hidden somewhere deep inside.  Today, I found it ... in a song ... by, of all people, Justin Bieber ...

Pray - Justin Bieber

Yesterday, Maddie was given the perfect gift ... Under the Mistletoe ... Justin Bieber's Christmas album.  So, this afternoon, we were headed to Mammie's house and just HAD to listen to it on the way ...

I am SO glad we did ...

The very first song to play was track 14 ... Pray.  As I sat in the driver's seat listening to the lyrics ... I actually felt a lump in my throat and tears filled my eyes ...

I know there 's sunshine behind that rain

I know there's good times behind that pain

I close my eyes and I can see a better day

I close my eyes and pray

Although I am embarrassed to admit that Justin Bieber's music moved me to tears ... I am excited to finally feel some relief.  I know, in my heart, that better days are very near ... I just have to stay positive ... knowing that, before long, I will have my life back ... and it will be bigger and better than ever!

Here's to JB ... 

Preserving Innocence

This morning, I received an email from Maddie's teacher.  She mentioned that Maddie finally opened up to her about my treatment and is concerned about the medicine I am taking and how it makes me feel.  This, for me, is heartbreaking ...

All this time, we have been working so hard to keep things as normal as possible.  But, obviously, things are different ... and Maddie recognizes the change ...

After our talk the other night ... I do feel better about her willingness to talk ... and I hope she continues to do so.  For now, though, I would love for each of you to stop and say a prayer for my children, specifically Maddie ...

I DO NOT want this experience to strip her of the happiness she deserves ... from the innocence of childhood ... I do, however, hope that my strength will serve as reminder to her that anything, however big or small, can be overcome ... with hope ... with love ... and with faith!

This, too, shall pass ...

Here's to preserving my baby's innocence ... as long as possible ...

Four Down ... Four To Go

Finally ... I am half-way to the finish line ... and it feels SOOOO good!

Yesterday was another long day, but better than the day of my last treatment.  I was able to move more quickly though the process and was home in time for dinner ... without the nausea!  Of course, I mentioned my previous experience to Dr. O'Regan and Kate and they made some changes to my anti-nausea medications ... and it did the trick!  I continue to be amazed by the effectiveness of my treatment ... in every aspect ... thank God for modern medicine!

Round 4 ... DONE ...

I wanted to blog last night, but decided instead to relax and enjoy a warm fire and my nice cold Corona! So, that is exactly what I did ...

ONLY 4 LEFT!

My next treatment is scheduled for December 22nd ... just a few days before Christmas. From what I understand, the new drug I will receive, Taxol, causes less nausea ... YEAH ... and, overall, is less difficult in terms of side effects ... I am VERY grateful for that! Hopefully, I won't be feeling too badly when Santa arrives!

Best of all, I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel ...

Thank you all for your continued support and prayers ... for the cards ... for the meals ... for every little thing that you do each day to bring a smile to my face ...

Here's to the being half-way to CANCER-FREE ...

Anticipating Bald

The past few days, even weeks, have brought much anticipation of the inevitable ... losing my hair!  Although I didn't think I would be bothered by baldness ... I am REALLY not looking forward to it ... not one bit ...

Already, my hair, all over my body, has started to thin ... and my eyelashes are slowly falling out.  There is just nothing fun about being a women and having little or no hair ...

Tonight, though, Scott and I spent some time talking with Maddie about my diagnosis. We haven't spent much time talking about it ... instead, we have put all of our efforts into keeping things as normal as possible.  But, since Maddie is dreading my baldness as much as I am, we thought it might be helpful to show her that I am not alone ... that this happens to LOTS of women ... one of which took her slick scalp all the way to the Grammy stage ...

Melissa Etheridge & Joss Stone

2005 Grammy Awards
(Melissa Etheridge @ 2 minutes, 30 seconds)

For me, and for Maddie, I think ... this video was reassuring ... even comforting.  I can only imagine the strength and courage it took for Melissa Etheridge to stand on that stage before millions of people ... possibly more bald than the day she was born ... 

Hopefully ... when that day comes for me ... I, too, will find the courage to sport my bald head ... to find pride in myself and what I am fighting for ... and to never be ashamed of who I am ... or what I look like, however difficult it may be ... 

Here's to embracing bald ... 

Traditions

This past weekend was FULL of special traditions ...

On Thursday, we celebrated Thanksgiving ... a family tradition, of course ... filling our bellies full of delicious food, enjoying perfect company, and giving thanks for the many, many blessings in our lives ...

Before the sun rose on Friday, at promptly 5:30 in the morning, I met my cousins, Jenny and Mary, for a day of shopping!  Joining in the Black Friday madness has been a tradition for us for several years ... and it is SO much FUN ...

Me, Mary, and Jenny ... ready to SHOP the day away!

Every year, we spend the day shopping and, more importantly, laughing ... and every year, we arrive home after nearly 16 hours ... GREAT times!

On Saturday, for the second year in a row, we participated in one of our many Redbud Terrace traditions ... The Couple's Olympics and Tailgate Extravaganza!   The day is filled with games, football, beer, and LOTS of fun!  This year, we ALMOST took the trophy ... second place for the second year in a row ...

We almost had it ... 

We live on such an amazing street ... with the VERY best neighbors!  Next year ... LOOK OUT ... I will be on top of my game and we WILL take 1st place ... and the trophy!

Finally, after a busy holiday weekend, we had a relaxing Sunday ... finishing it off with one last tradition ... we kicked off the Christmas season with The Polar Express and hot chocolate with the kiddos!  It was the perfect ending to a perfect weekend ...

Here's to the memories of such wonderful traditions ... and to MANY, MANY more in the years to come ...

Giving Thanks

It's Thanksgiving and today I have more to be thankful for than ever before ...

Cancer has changed my life ... in so many ways ... it has helped me recognize the many, many blessings in my life and for that, I will be forverer grateful ...

Today, as always, I am thankful for my wonderful family and friends ... but, this year, I am most thankful for my doctors and the amazing medicine that has already had such a positive effect on my tumor ... and continues to bring me closer to cancer-free ...

For me, rather than giving thanks once a year, I have found that I give thanks every day, for each day, and for the many blessings God has given me ...

Here's to giving thanks ... for everything ...

11,156

As I have said so many times before, I am truly humbled by the love and support I have been shown throughout this journey ... and, today, this number says it all ...

11,156 ...

This is the number of times my blog has been viewed, as of this moment.  It still amazes me that this very personal experience matters to so many people ... that I matter to so many people ...

So, as you can imagine ... 11,156, as insignificant as it may seem, is a HUGE motivator in my journey to SURVIVOR .... it is motivation to write, motivation to smile, motivation to push through this fight no matter how difficult it may be at times ... because my journey matters and, at this finish line, each and every one of my "followers" will have the opportunity to share in the overwhelming joy I will feel to finally be CANCER-FREE ...

It just doesn't get any better than that ...

Bitter Sweet

As this week comes to an end, I must admit ... I am more than thankful to finally be through my third round of treatment and to be feeling good for this VERY special day ...

Andrew is FIVE YEARS OLD today ... and, for me, it is bitter sweet ...

Of course, it has been so exciting to watch my little guy grow and change over the years, but I truly can't believe how quickly the time has passed.  It seems like only yesterday that I held him for the very first time ... only dreaming of the joy he would bring into my life ... and, now, it's already five years later ...

So, today ... I thank God for Andrew ... for bringing him into my life ... for the wonderful memories we've made ... and I pray for MANY more years of love and laughter with my buddy ...

Happy Birthday, Andrew ...

Sarah

Throughout this journey, I have been touched by the kindness of others ... I have had the privilege of meeting many wonderful people ... and I truly believe that God has placed some very special "angels" in my path ...

Most recently, I met Sarah ...

Sarah and I met for the first time during my second infusion ... she came into the lab and was seated next to me.  It was her first treatment ...

Immediately, I noticed how young she was ... of course, when you are diagnosed with a life-threatening disease, you feel like you are the ONLY one ... and, for me, when I meet someone around my age, I feel an instant connection ...

So, during that meeting, we talked ... Sarah is 39 years old and fighting triple-negative breast cancer ...

We shared a little about ourselves and our families, but didn't have the opportunity to talk much more, until yesterday ...

On the day of treatment, I always stop at the lab for my blood draw first ... and, much to my surprise, Scott and I ran into Sarah and her husband.  We started talking when Scott made a connection. While finishing some computer work at the Starbucks near our house, he saw Sarah ... just the day before ...

Of course, this sparked more conversation ... and, much to our surprise, we learned that they live in our neighborhood ... just another typical couple, raising young children, fighting cancer ...

If you have been reading my blog or have researched triple-negative breast cancer, you know that it is a much less common cancer ... and through this journey, I have been blessed to know a few women who are survivors ... and now, I have Sarah ...

I cannot thank God enough for bringing these "angels" into my life ... for helping me realize that I can FIGHT and WIN ... and that I am NOT alone ...

Here's to my neighbor ... and my newest friend ...

Three Down ... Five To Go

Yesterday was a VERY long day ...

We headed to Emory early, as always, and I was able to have my blood drawn and see Dr. O'Regan in a timely manner.  Once we got to the infusion lab, however, things came to a screeching halt ... it took well over an hour before I was called and then nearly another hour before my treatment actually began.  So, after a 5 1/2 hour infusion ... we left just in time for rush hour traffic ... YIPEE ... it made for an almost 12 hour day ...

Usually, I feel quite good after treatment ... and usually continue feeling pretty normal for a day or two after ... NOT this time.  On the way home, while hugging the bumper of the car in front of us, I felt extremely nauseous ... I really wasn't sure I was going to make it home ...

Luckily, we did ... and once I took my medication and a nice, hot shower ... I felt well enough to eat a little and enjoy my Corona ... now, there are ONLY 5 MORE LEFT ...

So, overall, the day was quite successful!  As always, I had several great visitors and once things got started, it went by rather quickly ...

One MORE step closer to CANCER-FREE ...

Round 3 ... DONE ...

Thank you all so very much for your kindness ... and, more importantly, your continued prayers ... I will never be able to thank you enough ...